On Being Successful


When someone talks about success, what do you think of? 

Do you think of being physically healthy and fit, or being a good parent and wife or perhaps even doing well in your career? Success is something that is personal to each individual person, depending on what they want from life. What one person may consider to be a success, may not be to another.

I have always dreamt of having my own "successful" project. Something that is made or started by me and has an influence on the world. Something that is useful and, preferably, brings some money in to the home. Throughout my life I have continuously looked for that opportunity but usually been too scared to take the jump or given up before it went anywhere.

Well, the other day I had an epiphany whilst watching Dumbo with Bo.

It got to that scene where Dumbo goes to visit his mum, who is locked up for being a "mad elephant", and they have this lovely son and mummy moment even though they can't actually see each other. It made me cry, I have to admit. Disney films always seem to have a way to get to me - if there is one on TV, you will normally find me blubbering away somewhere.

Anyway, that moment in the film made me realise that I wasn't happy with how I was currently spending my time.

Since Bo was born, I have continued to look for the opportunity to start that dream project and tried to give myself the confidence to go for it - perhaps even more so than before. Being at home, not working, does not feel right to me. I lose confidence in myself and I feel bad for not bringing any money into the household so I have found it difficult to accept being at home all of the time.

But what I have found, in the search for my business opportunity, is that I am spending time away from Bo trying to chase this dream. Granted, I am still in the same room as her and I do want to promote the idea her being able to take part in independent play, but the whole reason I became a stay at home mum was so that I could look after her and spend time with her.

So when I saw that scene from Dumbo, it hit me hard. I want to spend time with my daughter and I want to take advantage of the fact she wants to play with me and cuddle up with me before that stops in a few years time. I want to help her develop at this crucial time in her life and help teach her wrong from right. I want to be the best I can be for her and help her have the best life that I can give her.

As I sat and pondered on it, I came to the realisation that life is ongoing and not just situated in the present. Just because I may not have found my dream project yet and am not what I would consider to be successful yet, does not mean that this will never happen. In fact, perhaps now is not the time to be chasing that dream. Perhaps it is time to be concentrating on a different area of my life - my family and myself. 

I am going to enjoy this time in my life where I get to spend time playing games, reading books and having cuddles with my little girl. When I get to stay at home, or go out and meet up with friends or other mums and develop my own social skills (which have been severely lacking as of late I must say!). Where I get to worry about nothing other than whether my family is happy and healthy and whether I am feeling at my best, or at least as close as I can get with all of this sleep deprivation! I am going to work as hard as I can to be a success in this part of my life, instead of yearning for something different.

Then, when my family don't need me quite as much and I am in a better position to take on more work, I can revisit this dream project and make it the best it can be. 

Don't get me wrong, this is not me giving up on my dream project or the idea of starting something that I consider to be successful. This is me acknowledging that now is not the time. And you never know, that winning idea or project might sneak up on me out the blue in the meantime.

What does success mean to you? Let me know in the comments below.

I have added this post to the following linkies:
- Family Fun on the Diary Of An Imperfect Mum blog.
- PoCoLo on the Morgan Prince blog.

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  1. This made me so happy! I think the word 'success' means different things to different people. I can totally relate to your feeling inadequate because you're not bringing in money. That's exactly how I felt when my boys were young. They're 11 and 6 now and at school every day, that gives me the time to blog - and it turns out that that is exactly what my dream was. Not blogging as such, but writing. I gave myself the time to be a mum first, and now the boys are in school I've realised that writing is my thing, it's my project. And the best bit is I still get to be at home for my boys! I don't bring in tons of money but I do earn some, which is great.
    I'm so glad that you're concentrating on Bo right now, you'll end up being much happier for it. :)

    1. Thank you for your comment - it always nice to hear that I'm not the only one that feels this way. Im glad you found what your "project" was, and being home is a big bonus! X

  2. I applaud you for recognising that you needed to make a change and that you recognised what it was that would make you happy. I think your dream is now being with your beautiful daughter and in the future you can have new dreams. I think our dreams change as our lives change. I was a real career woman with a high flying job and gave it all up and moved country too, taking a massive drop down in job. I now work part time, but my kids are getting older and the career opportunities are coming back. TY for linking up with #FamilyFun 🌸

    1. Thanks for your comment! You are right, dreams do change and it will be fun to explore this new one and any more in the future. It must have been really scary to leave your job and move country! X

  3. This so true. You've got to define success and what you value - and invest in that. At the moment, it's all about the family. :) Enjoy it! The dream project will happen, but maybe not just now.

  4. I agree that each of us have different definitions for success, and know that each of us have to be happy with what our version of success is. Enjoy the cuddles and who knows, when you're not expecting it that dream project may just happen along. Thanks for linking up to #pocolo